Canadian Broadcasting Corporation
The CBC is the best television channel in Canada. Although its average viewers number from 5 to 6 people a month, most of which being bears, as bears are smarter than the average canadian. It rightly kisses America's awesome, sexy ass and its news stories help canadians learn how to drink less maple syrup. Stop reading, and do this first: Canada's Phone Number: 1-800-O-CANADA (1-800-622-6232) Call them and pull the following prank call: YOU: Your cat is on my fence. CANADA: I don't have a cat. YOU: Well, I don't have a fence. Then hang up. Let's get the entire nation prank calling Canada until it gets a cat! Brief History of the CBC The CBC, or for those who'd rather not dine at the trough of brevity, the 'Canadian Bombast Corporation', hallowed and venerable Canadian public broadcaster, was founded on the following principle: "Asking the right question is more important than providing the correct answer". Set alight in 1936, when a cadre of drunken, insolent Radio hams, some reports say there was 7, others say 9, stormed the existing Canadian Radio Broadcasting Commission demanding increased coverage in order for their much loved radio waves to span the vast frosty tundra that is the Canadian Diaspora of infertile wheat, unwanted immigrants, and sustainable cold. Bowing to the pressure of the Ham Radio enthusiasts, the CRBC caved like a rear-ended Pinto and gave them not only increased coverage, but their very own radio station to boot. Fertile ground was sown. The CBC in it's Infancy Special events include the 12 day visitation of America's King W.C. Fields, in addition to its regular fare, such as the highly popular radio serial, 'Olde Tim McGovern, Horse Gelder', which followed the chicanery and hilarity of the knife-wiedling exploits of Veterinarian Tim McGovern as he went about the vast Canadian lands leaving many a horse lighter and farmers happier. Sundry an open ear listened nervously as the first Moose-pulled train trolley pulled its way into Vancouver, signaling the completion of the Trans-Canadian Railway in 1945. For the first time in Canada's history, citizens could go from coast to coast in a rapid 5 week journey, pending of course none of the Moose died during the trip. Although the completion of the TCR was done during the war years, coverage of WWII was succinct, yet to the point. In 1935 the CBC interrupted local Polar Bear warnings to announce with professional steel and diction: "War in Europe. Details to follow". Those details indeed followed, in 1948, when the CBC, again interrupted local Polar Bear warnings with a brief "War in Europe Ends". Such rivetting blanket War coverage garnered numerous international awards and closed the chapter on CBC's storied infancy. The CBC in it's Toddler Stage In 1952, hockey was invented by Canadians looking for a winter pastime other than ice fishing and clubbing baby seals. The National Hockey League, or NHL, soon followed, which gave the CBC a great deal more programming, as at the time, other than the traditional Polar Bear warnings, all the network had to broadcast were programs about maple syrup and some guy named Ed the Sock. The CBC Grows Up In 1957, the juggernaut that was CBC radio had grown up, and needed a new forum to outgrow its adolescence. The net result: CBC television was born to serve not only the auditory senses, but the visual senses as well. News reports became a staple of the CBC's television branch, in addition to such popular and long running shows as, 'Bob Sherman, Sled Dog Courier', 'The Undercover Mountie of Tuktayaktuk', and the political round table program titled, 'Political Round Table Program' hosted by cantankerous curmudgeon Elizabeth Swain-Fleet. Many Canadians living in remote areas were also able to see hockey for the first time, which was good, because they could not understand the odd new game just from listening to the puzzling broadcasts on the radio. The CBC Today Today, The CBC's vast Diaspora of programs is centered around providing current affairs information, award winning fishing documentaries, and broadcasting what remains of Canada's NHL teams. Beloved shows include 'Samurai Apprentice', in which losing entrants perform ritual Sepuku on tv, 'Beermageddon', where two half-baked high school seniors wax philosophically about life in a bomb shelter stocked with Labatt 50 in a post-nuculer world, and 'Stamps with Champs', a long running show by Master Philatellist and Lothario Champ Dodson about Stamp Collecting and how it can possibly get you laid. Currently, CBC's secretive labs division is working on formats of media that appeal to the other three neglected senses, with a news program you can touch, a news program you can smell, and a news program you can taste. Needless to say, the 21st century promises to be an exciting time for the CBC! See Also *Corporation